Money is important, but it is not what drives me

Let there be no misunderstanding: money is important.

Money is important for our family. My wife is my stability (1993). We have three kids (2001, 2003, 2013) of which the two oldest (sons) have a disability (Duchenne and Down Syndrome). My family is my stability. Throughout the years we lost people (some dear, some not). We cope. We gained liberty. Money is important because it pays our bills. As a family, we need and use money to keep us fed, pay off our mortgage, buy stuff and lead a materially somewhat comfortable life. My work as an independent Scrum Caretaker via my one-person company Ullizee-Inc is the sole source of money for our family. We have no backup or additional sources of income. Scrum is what I do for a living. Scrum is what I’ve been practicing for the past 20+ years.

Beyond the fact that not even all my Scrum Caretakery work is paid work or even about money, I can’t escape giving up financially more beneficial Scrum Caretakery activities to spend a substantial proportion of my time on (what I call) my Home Caretakery activities. I am inescapably needed at home a lot of the time to provide our (adult) sons with the specific care they need as a result of their respective disabilities. There is no other way given the physical nature of that care. There is no other way given the absence of a network around us and given the lack of the funding that would be needed to purchase professional care that would be sufficiently tuned to their needs.

Still, I am unable to blindly go after money only, not even in situations where it might be justified. Regardless of ethics, values, principles or purpose, it is also a conscious choice to take my Home Caretakery and being with my family seriously, and to some extent I wouldn’t want it otherwise. Money is important, but it is not what drives us.

Money was not what drove my wife and I when I gave up my position as software engineer and aspiring project manager in favor of running a bookshop (1996). It wasn’t when I refused the position of CIO at Belgium’s first e-com (2001). It wasn’t when we gave up on my wife’s income to allow her to develop her creative talents (2007). It wasn’t when I abandoned a position of Principal Consultant and a future higher-up the ladder function at a large international consulting company (2013). It wasn’t when we bought a house we didn’t think we could afford because of the increasing wheelchair-dependence of our son (2014). It wasn’t when I decided to go completely independent with my one-person company Ullizee-Inc (2016) and not be part of any fixed structure for the time being (which is to this date).

It took me a very long time, nearly a life time, to even start realizing what it is then that drives me, if not money. I still find it difficult to put words to what that is and articulate it with some precision. Ultimately, it boils down to people and working with people, treating people as human beings and not accepting otherwise. It leads to my personal mission of promoting and establishing more humane working environments and humanizing the workplace in an attempt to reduce toxic and abusive behaviors and restore people’s engagement (at work). Humanizing the workplace equals undoing the past mechanization of the workplace (during the dominance of the industrial paradigm), while helping leadership and anyone involved see and understand that workplace humanization equals company deworrification. Because, ultimately, engaged people care more (about team, customer and company outcomes of their work).

It took me even longer (another life time?) to understand where this drive comes from, what its roots are, unveil the why of why I’m doing what I do, why I can’t let go, why I often behave in the way that I do, take the decisions that I take–often intuitively, fiercely and stubbornly, regardless of the financial consequences. I have gradually discovered that it is most likely an attempt to turn the traumas of my childhood and my youth into a mission. I guess I needed to take the pain of my youth and transform it into a mission. The result is a mission and a life of serving others to break (not continue or start anew) a circle of emotional violence and mental abuse, to turn a downward spiral around and make it go upward. The roots of my mission is what I call my Past Continuous Sorrow. It is a sort of sorrow that nobody recognizes, notices or sees. While every day I am reminded of this hole that cannot be filled. But I find comfort in my lack of importance in the fact that in 4-5 billion years our dear sun, before disappearing after a life expected to take 9-10 billion years, will swallow us whole anyhow, as a sign of tenderness.

I believe that these specifics of my past are why I engage and want to have an impact, make a difference and help create a better world. I believe it is why I’m completely insensitive to anything Career, Hierarchy, Title, Position, Role, Power, Fame (etc.). These big capital words are not what drive me. They are no goals to me. And more than just being insensitive to them, I’ve even found that it typically turns out rather counterproductive if people ‘use’ it to ‘motivate’ me, and even more when connecting money to it. It is the only explanation for my past, instinctive anti-responses in situations where that was essentially what was happening. Money is important, but it is not what drives me. Money is important, but integrity is more important. Every time I left a company was essentially because of integrity. Integrity is why I ended up this one-person company aspiring to change the world for the better. Doing this in all independence is made even more difficult by not being acknowledged for the work I’ve done as part of company structures in the past and the legacy I tried to leave in favor of Scrum and humanizing the workplace.

But if it was money that drives me, I would never have had the time to become what I didn’t know I wanted to be. And although it may look as if there was a plan, there wasn’t. If it was money that drives me, I would have created my own proprietary program of Agile/Scrum classes and a certification scheme when I went independent (which seems to be what many people thought I was going to do). If it was money that drives me, I would have created my own proprietary Agile scaling model (without calling it a model, obviously) and set up even more classes and extend my certification schemes. If it was money that drives me, I could have created my own proprietary development framework (ending up with yet another Scrum derivative) as a foundation for even newer courses and more certifications and an even larger ‘model’ to scale it. If it was money that drives me, I would be giving mass production trainings for people not interested in learning, but in quickly certifying. If it was money that drives me, I would do individual coaching of people not interested in experience, but still wanting level III certifications. If it was money that drives me, I wouldn’t spend time on writing. If it was money that drives me, I would be out there in the market to shamelessly, vigilantly, relentlessly and ruthlessly market, promote, sell, oversell and resell my 20+ years of experience (like a real consultant would do) while pushing competitors out of the market rather than spending time at home taking care of our sons and exploring give-and-take collaborative partnerships (even when largely unsuccessfully). If it was money that drives me, I would be speaking at events only when offered large sums of money with no other intent than entertainment and self-promotion.

Rather, after abandoning several (financially more rewarding) positions and titles, once upon a time I started calling myself a Scrum Caretaker (2016). In the expanded version that became an independent Scrum Caretaker to leave no doubts that I am not a part of any fixed structure, big nor small (2017). I added my personal mission to it: an independent Scrum Caretaker on a journey of humanizing the workplace with Scrum (2019). I’ve noticed how the term “Scrum Caretaker” resonates with people across the planet. Maybe more Scrum Caretakers will emerge. Maybe some day we will form a Scrum Caretakers Collective.

Maybe it will happen once enough people start realizing that the time has come to restore the balance between the ‘people’ aspect of Scrum (“Self-organization”) and the ‘process’ aspect of Scrum (“Empiricism”). Because the focus of many Scrum adoptions is still tilted heavily towards the process aspect, and not barely enough on the people aspect. Scrum is too much limited to a way to create and deliver product; more features, sooner, faster. The added value of adopting Scrum for the people doing the work is conveniently ignored. But, guess what, people who are truly engaged and motivated will build better products. Ultimately, using Scrum as a tool to humanize the workplace is the way forward.

Let there be no misunderstanding: money is important.

Unfortunately, too many people and enterprises take it for granted that it is not money that drives me (not willing to pay, to not return a favor, to not grant me a piece of the cake, but some bread crumbs only). So, in case of doubt: although money is not what drives me, I am trying to make a living out of my mission too, not in the least to support my family but also to fund my ways of offering inspiration that are beyond money. The alternative is charity and a hungry family. A good start, and thus one of my ambitions as from 2024 is to speak for free less. I know you now understand.

I wish you a wonderful 2024 and an amazing life.

💚
Your independent Scrum Caretaker
Gunther