The 4 words that show no - or low - empathy
Thursday, April 25, 2019 at 5:14PM 
We know that empathy is a key way to build connections with people, deepen a conversation and strengthen trust. But I wonder ...do we too often confuse similarity for empathy?
When someone shares a story or situation with you, and you’ve experienced it too, what do you say?
We can too often rush in to sharing our story, our experience and our situation...because it’s happened to us too! Sharing similarities, finding common ground - sure, yes it builds rapport, connection. But don’t kill the opportunity for deeper connection and empathy in the rush to say your bit.
These four words can kill empathy dead :
Been There Done That.
If you think it helps people feel better that you’ve done it too... pause...because it may not. That’s because it’s not validating their story or their situation they’ve just shared. It’s switched the focus to you.
Empathy is not about being better, bigger, quicker, cleverer, the ‘winner’ or having done it or experienced it before them. Quieten down. Listen. Respond to what they’re saying without making it about you.
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